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Heartshackles

The fiercest calm.
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MIA

1 min read
I don't think I'm going to come here anymore. So please consider me MIA/AWOL (semi-)permanently.

If you want to keep contact and/or you want to keep up our RP, the only platform for chatting I do use anymore is Discord. scarletshackles#0607
E-mail is also possible. riikka.hamalainen@hotmail.com

I haven't had many reasons to come for a long time, so I will just put a stop to it to ease my mind. My mental health is not well at all. Hence I need to put needless worry aside, which includes keeping up with webpages I feel I have no use for. Not to mention that DA has been slowly dying in the past years, too. I disappeared on a lot of people, particularly my RP partners, because my state of mind is not getting better. I am very depressed, and sorry for that.
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This may seem like a melancholy autumn journal about my writing problems (which it undoubtedly will end up as), but I have some things I want to put on my table for discussion. I'm also considering to separate my cosplay pictures from this account...

I recently spoke up to some people about how my writer's block just seems to go on, and on, and on. But - I think I realised something, while I talked to them. I think my writer's block may source itself, not only from depression occasionally, but also lack of purpose.

Why do I write?

I started writing, because I wanted my work to be seen. I wanted it to bring someone, somewhere, some happiness, or something to do to pass the time.
Lucky Star - Konata Frustrated
Now, I don't know why I publish anything. That's why I stopped. My fanfiction watchers are mostly ghosts - I usually don't hear anything from you guys. I get the occasional comment, which is wonderful, but they have decreased to almost nill depending on the fandom. Though, I'm not looking to cast blame on anyone. I just wish some more people took the time to write me something, since I used to write to you all the time. I know I can't keep writing if it only reaches mute eyes.

So I dare you to go write some of your favorite fiction writers something nice. :heart: Trust me, it can make their entire day.

Maybe I should join even more groups?

I'm also debating on joining the Halloween drawing stuff every day, but those have just never worked out for me. They will never be finished by me. So I think, I will pick a theme for each week of October, and write a fiction related.

Any creepy crawly suggestions? Private is displeased/offended 

Week 1.
Week 2.
Week 3.
Week 4.
Bonus Week 5.


UPDATE: I completely failed to find any motivation to write, although I have more time than in the past half a year altogether... so I won't be making any specific Halloween updates, since I'm not popular anymore either. So I'll just bury myself in Kpop instead and think about the gift work I wanted to do... might still make a yandere entry though, since I had many good ideas for that.


I decided to participate in this group "activity"/challenge, afterall. And you should too!

10 Days of Yandere Challenge!Hello, my lovelies! In my discord server, BlueGrassHero, ShackledFairy, AngelDemon678, EntirelyBonkers, Mythiica and I are participating in an idea that BlueGrassHero came up with!
October is supposed to be a month full of spooky and creepy things. What better sums that up than 10 days dedicated for writing Yandere fics?? Starting October 22, we will (or at least try to) upload one Yandere fic each day up until October 31. The fics will go in order from soft Yandere all the way to hardcore insane Yandere. 
Sounds cool, huh? Well, it gets even better! Everyone is allowed to join! Yup, we want this to be an event where everyone can take part in and have fun! Cause what's more fun than Yandere characters killing people? Ha...ha...
rules:
- All fandoms welcome! Whether it's an anime, tv show, game, etc. all is welcome! No silly restrictions.
- Post one Yandere fic each day during those 10 days. It's more fun if you space i




And psst, any fellow K-pop trashers, check this out, they just (re)debuted a few months ago:


And more underrated stuff:
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Tag dingy. Have a good song to listen to while reading. Llama Emoji-09 (Drinking Tea) [V1] 
 

13 Facts about me

1. I'm very vigilant about my own rights.
2. I can't wait to move to the UK.
3. My favorite fruit is lemon.
4. I love 90's cartoons.
5. Once I properly move, I will get fiddler crabs for pets.
6. I'm already planning on my third dog, but won't act on the idea before I get a proper job and house.
7. My most hated features in other people are dishonesty, prejudice and narcism.
8. I'm constantly disappointed by people, and I hate it.
9. I prefer speaking English over my native language.
10. I can't stand the heat or the sun, my eyes are very light sensitive.
11. I hate chocolate.
12. I often dream of fleeing or running away.
13. I wish I could read people's minds. For real.

:iconshoutingfir380:'s Questions to me  Exo : Chanyeol Reaction King 

Also, Steph, I'm expecting you to answer my questions too! At least just in a comment, because I'm curious. :)

1. Highlight of your day so far?
Getting my Asato cosplay's shirt done, finally.

2. If you could live one moment of your favorite movie, what would it be?
I'm assuming you mean as one of the characters? I don't think I particularly have a number one movie out of others (not to mention I barely watch movies), but if I could pick out a movie moment... there's a few, but right now I'll say... hmm... sheesh, I really don't know. Anything else would have been easier, TV, anime, games... but movies, come on now. I guess I'll pick "Eyes of an angel", I'd want to be the one to rescue the doberman and nurse it back to health.

3. What would be the one thing that could make your life so much easier?
Trustworthy, active real life friends. That would remove a big stress from an extrovert's life.

4. What kind of dragon would you be?
An egoistic bastard that breathes fire on morons and makes fun of things smaller than myself. And eats knights for dinner. I would sow terror upon the lands!

5. If you were an elemental, what element would you be?
Fire. Most definitely.

6. What song is stuck in your head right now?
Far Longer Than Forever... from the Swan Princess. Asdfgh my feels.

7. What do you do to start your morning off right?
C8H10N4O2.

8. Craziest thing you've tried to do in the kitchen?

I'm unsure what the context of this question actually is. Like trying to cook something silly? I can't remember much of anything similar that I would have done.

9. What is the first memory that you can think of?
Oh gosh... People always wonder why I can't actually remember much of my early childhood, but I think it's normal you don't. I don't remember how old I was, but the earliest (I think), is my sister taking a shit on our front yard's pavement when we were supposed to go somewhere. xD

10. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why?
This's another novel question. xD I'd change my gender, because I feel like I'd be more natural as a man. My behavior is genderfluid as it is, and I've always wanted to just be "one of the guys". Women are so difficult, to be and be friends with. I could go on about this for ages here.

11. What was your favorite thing to do in elementary school?
Um, yeah, I barely even remember that far back into my life. But I remember I wasn't very into school, except arts classes. And I used to bully others.

12. What kind of alternate universe would you live in?
Probably something sci-fi or fantasy like, perhaps with very advanced technology or magic. Hm, I think magic would be my pick. But modern or old, I don't know. This one would require a lot of thought.

13. Is there a superstition you believe is actually true?

I'm not sure if it counts, but I believe in karma. It will always chase you, and catch you.


Tags (you don't have to do this if you don't want to, but I'm curious to know more about you)
You could also just answer the questions below if you don't feel like doing the whole thing! :D I don't know who is active on this site anymore, so I'll just tag some people I think are.
 Suzuka-sama kaysaku SnowyGriffon TheEliteGuardian jerewarrior Frozenncs2 Misaki-Kurenai
My questions to you (lets get up there and personal ehehe) I mean... what. Surrounded By Idiots 

1. If you could be an animal for a day, which one would it be?
2. What do you feel most proud of in your life?
3. If you couldn’t be convicted of any one type of crime, what criminal charge would you like to be immune to?
4. What inanimate object would be the most annoying if it played loud upbeat music while being used?
5. What seemingly innocent question makes you think "It’s a trap!"?
6. Who do you go out of your way to be nice to?
7. Provided magic was real, what spell would you try to learn first?
8. What’s the most addicted to a game you’ve ever been?
9. What’s the most pleasant sounding accent?
10. What bit of trivia do you know that is very interesting but also very useless?
11. What’s the smartest thing you’ve seen an animal do?
12. If you had a HUD that showed three stats about any person you looked at, what three stats would you want it to show?
13. Do you like things to be carefully planned or do you prefer to just go with the flow?
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Things

2 min read
Hello!

I hope everyone is doing okay. I've been quite busy with graduating and stuff - but it's confirmed, I'm only waiting for my paperwork now! I have officially completed my master degree for bartending! Congrats to me. I'm happy. I worked hard for this. Some info about my current situation and life decisions to come in this journal.



Regarding the fact that I've been off from here for a few weeks now, everyone that I'm RPing with or planning to do so with, I will get back to you as soon as possible in the next few days. Sorry for the delay, but school work has been a priority and I forgot to let everyone know individually. After that was done, I wanted to enjoy a very quiet week with my games and sleeping.

I'm going to try to be more active in terms of my writing again too, but cosplay has become a bigger priority lately than that. Although I do lack cosplaying friends... I'm also planning my move to the UK, so does anyone know how or where to easily get some people to cosplay with and make friends of? I don't really enjoy going to events alone or cosplaying alone, especially since that usually means a severe lack of photos of the outfits I work hard for... I would enjoy a permanent, enthusiastic cosplay partner/small group with some skill or will to learn how to take pictures properly and do cosplays and photoshoots with. If someone knows a website (preferably EXCLUDING Facebook and Twitter) or good place to advertise particularly for the UK area, I'd appreciate it! :) I would also appreciate any tips for renting apartments and work searching in the UK, if any.



My plans are coming into place and it's looking good so far, I've hoarded a lot of money for this. But, regardless, I will start searching for work.
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For now I got enough people, thank you everyone that messaged me. I will get back to everyone that contacted me so far. I will relaunch this journal if I need more partners!


My new RP application~

18+, no exceptions! Even without any PG18 content, I prefer my partners to be adults because I'm quite old myself and get along better with people closer to my age.

Hello.
I'm looking for 1 or 2 RP partners, with some preservation.

There will be a lot of "rules" and strict guidelines, but I'm not trying to offend anyone's own RP style by any means. I've just been disppointed a number of times (for a reason or another, mine or the other's) and it's time to tighten the leash and get picky to find my perfect match.

Without further ado, here's a list of some things I'm specifically looking for. For a longer version, I have written a Stash entry sta.sh/01kyc25blvei . I recommend reading at least some of it, but it's quite long.

-As said, strictly 18+ people please.
-Paragraph ONLY. No script, I can't go by that since I only write long paragraphs myself. I also prefer someone literate-ish with a decent knowledge of English, if it's unreadable for me, it'll be difficult.
-No one-line posters, I'm looking for someone with creativity and willingness to contribute to plot.
-At this moment in time, I won't do any canon character for you.
-Double character is fine, and also 1on1. I do M/F, M/M and F/F. Right now M/M would be my most preferred (If double, can combine).
-No disappearing, please. Lets talk it over before that. It's a simple thing I ask. It's been done a few times now and it makes me want to give up searching.
-I absolute CANNOT reply daily. I don't know why is this any sort of requirement, as everyone has lives. Sometimes I can't even reply during the same week, because I work and study. If this is an issue, I suggest you move along.
-I can hit you with an example post if you're unsure my style would fit yours. Regardless, I'd prefer to know if it's a hit or miss sooner than later.

As for themes, there are a few I've had in mind. For the longest time I've wanted to do an RP with two guys that are gamers and play in the same team, guild, or something (professionally or as a hobby), and meet up for some event or so. They somehow end up doing something together, or come close. Things turn awkward and they have a hard time accepting what's going on and eventually end up together, perhaps at first even in an unhealthy relationship that turns better? This plot would require you to know something about games to properly portray a character like that though.

Another one I've thought about also relates to games in a different way. Paintballing, or airsofting that they do together or in opposing teams as rivals.

Slice of life about two working people, perhaps the restaurant business since I have a thing for that, and it goes from there. Maybe boss x their worker?

And next to that, I could list many more. I'm open to a lot of things, right now I'd probably prefer an original plot. From the stash link, you can find my known anime series, games and wanted themes in greater detail. Though the list stops there, I know a lot more games and series (myanimelist.net/profile/scarle…), the list just has some that would be directly suitable for RPs. I'm absolutely open for discussion about plots. :)

Already tired of my long post? Me too. I hope to hear from someone that is a long poster. I would prefer Skype for the posts, and even e-mail over DeviantArt notes. People often complain the notes get lost and I'm not super active here anymore.
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Featured

MIA by Heartshackles, journal

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